Mid-Week Feedback-

I thought Wednesday night was going to be the lightest night in terms of attendance BUT we got a great turn-out. What a difference a full-house makes for a performer. It's a great lesson in promoting a show even when part of me doesn't want an audience--especially for the first couple of nights. A full-energetic audience makes it a much better experience for everyone. Especially when the pieces are comedic. It was so fun to pause for long stretches to ride the waves of laughter!
Here are excerpts of comments heard after the show:

"He should be on the big screen!" "Your character was hilarious and painful to watch--like that movie 'Best in Show'" "I love the way the stories connect--and how you all come on stage at the end.." "A really wonderful example of solo-work and storytelling." "So eclectic, covering a wide emotional range. It was fun to have bursts of comedy between the more serious pieces." "Terrific! So glad I came!"

Overall, it's been a good experience, and I don't know if I'll do it again. I've gained such respect for the pros--for their ability to summon the energy and courage to go onstage night-after-night regardless of what's going on in their personal lives, regardless of the size of the audience or the response. 

I'm looking forward to my next venture--Co-Producing a monthly storytelling/solo performing event. So excited about providing a local platform for performers in Santa Cruz as well as "exporting" and sharing the talented people I've worked with in San Francisco. 

Save the date: 

Word up! A brand new, monthly-venue for solo-freaks, storytellers and the people who love them

WORD UP

Produced by

Christine Silver and Laurie Guerin

Where: Broadway Playhouse

When: October 28, 2012

Time: 7:00-9:00

Call for submissions:

Do you have a spooky, grown-up ghost story? We are looking for written-by-you, 10-minute pieces by solo performers and storytellers for our kick-off event. Send your ideas, submissions and questions to:

Wordupsantacruz@gmail.com

Solo Journey--2 days in second person...

Home after your second day of performing.

Performance Day One
Up at 6:00 with plans to rehearse until 12:00
Freak out every fifteen minutes.
Think about the people who are coming to the show and freak out some more
Regret that you wrote two new pieces instead of perfecting something you'd already done
Think "Nerves of Steel" as you push awareness of the clock ticking out of your mind
Run through the challenging parts in each piece
Realize that there are an overwhelming number of challenging parts
Sink to your knees in front of a chair which has assumed the role of one of your characters, bury your head in his lap and moan "I can't do this!"
Repeat four times throughout rehearsal
Think "Nerves of Steel" and work the most troublesome parts of your pieces
Make a bit of progress on rummaging through an imaginary purse which is ten times harder than it looks
Make a bit of progress on putting on imaginary make-up while having a conversation with an imaginary Chinese woman which is about fifty times harder than it looks
Ask yourself why you haven't stuck with yoga long enough to learn relaxation tips for times like this
Ask yourself why you haven't stuck with self-affirmations long enough to learn relaxation tips for times like this
Run out of the house and disappoint your dogs by circling the driveway, on foot, at top speed about ten times
Feel slightly better
Resolve to run through each piece without stopping no matter what
Stop repeatedly
Collapse into chair
Think "I have to get a grip."
Go to your computer and Google "Positive affirmations for performers"
Repeat "I have a natural stage presence"
Repeat "I always remain calm in front of an audience"
Repeat "My stage fright is gone"
Feel slightly better.
Find the affirmations you found several months ago produced and recorded by a couple with an Minnesotan accent
Play then while you're in the shower
Play them while your putting on real make-up
Breathe
Hear the woman say "Remember, listening to these affirmations every day for a week will transform your life
Think "I need them transform my life right now"
Feel much better by the time you walk out of your house
Wonder when the anxiety will return
Be amazed that it doesn't
Until it does
Text you friend to remind you of why you do this
Smile and feel better when he does
Call your sister to remind you why you do this
Laugh when she tells you she hasn't a clue
And then remind yourself that you have a natural stage presence
Perform the first piece
Survive
Perform the second piece
Survive
Greet your audience
Feel the love
Enjoy the look of disbelief on a woman's face when you say "three years" in answer to her question about how long you've been performing
Thank her profusely for the look
Have a drink
Have another
Go to a hat party full of members of your theater tribe
Go to a late showing of Dominatrix for Dummies
Get spanked by the actress in front of an entire audience
Think "Now that's more like it"

Performance Day Two:

Get up at 9:00
Smile
Choreograph stage movements like a dance "Open purse, look at man, become man, reach for carry-on, become woman, leave man, become man, call her back.." One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three
Stay calm
Speed though scripts until you don't stumble over lines
Visualize transitions
Listen to positive affirmations
Work a clumsy section out in your car on the way to the theater
Perform
Survive
Perform
Survive
Watch an actor-friend's jaw drop when you tell her you just got off-book last week
Thank her profusely for the look
Feel ten times better about today's show than yesterday's
See a show you think is beautiful but suspect you're not enough of an intellectual to grasp the meaning
Go home
Eat spoonfuls of peanut butter with homemade raspberry jam because you haven't had time to shop for groceries
Catch up on Word With Friends
Catch up on your blog
Rest

Solo Journey 4 days to go!

     I see the light!
     Yesterday was our first run through at the theater (Center Stage in Santa Cruz, Ca). I'm so proud to be part of this group of performers. They make me want to do my best. Such talent.
It always amazes me--the transformation from page to stage. When everyone leaves their script and goes officially off-book.
     I am also surprised by how much rehearsal time the little details can suck up. In one scene, I'm doing my make-up in front of a mirror. I have zero props--all of it's pantomime. I spent two hours figuring out how to make it look like I had a purse; which I then put on a counter;which I then retrieve a make-up bag from; which I then pull a mascara tube from; which I then twist open and remove an applicator from. And that's just freaking mascara. As I'm doing this I'm also having a conversation...AND BECOMING another character who is also primping. Two hours on the purse. BUT--it paid off. It was much easier after that and I'm confident it'll come together by Saturday.
     I've also learned that rehearsing using a script is the best way to learn my lines. I've always memorized first. In part because it still terrifies and creeps me out to rehearse all alone. But my brain latches on faster when my body is involved in the process.
     xoxo

Solo Journey--One More Week!

A quick update:

     Both scripts are written and I love them! Some of my best work if I do say so myself (and I do!). One of the biggest challenges has been to get to the point where I can go off-book. Memorizing a less-than-almost-perfect script is impossible. The awkward sentences and clumsy phrases make me crazy and I have to hit the hold button until I've smoothed them out or cut them altogether.
    Walking with the script has been a sanity saving discovery. So much writing done on these mountain roads. I've logged 20 miles this week. A good thing too. In my less sane moments, I'm compulsively stuffing my face.
     For me, this process of writing and performing is an uphill battle against insecurity, self-doubt and fatigue. I've given up on trying to figure out if the fatigue is legit or depression/fear masking as fatigue. It just is.
      I can see the proverbial light and am starting to feel hopeful that this will all be amazing and wonderful.
      Speaking of wonderful, I'm back in the arms of my writing group. They rewarded me with peals of laughter and constructive feedback on Thursday. How I've missed them!
      Well, onward. Tomorrow I'm completely off book and blocked. This coming week is about the acting. Seems a little late, but for some reason I'm not stressing. I have a plan. Working with good people and a talented local director makes a world of difference (Mark Kenward is a very talented director and amazing performer and I love working with him. He's just too far away for me to travel this time :0(   ).

xoxoox
   
......
 

Solo Journey 12 Days

That's 12 days until we open.
Yesterday I had my first freak-out. I ended up going to bed 2x during the day. Felt sick and unable to face the work ahead.
I question this whole thing. I wonder if I should perform my own writing or leave that to the pros. Then again, is there anyone who would want to perform my stuff?
I like the idea of what I've written having an immediate, live audience. Not sitting on a shelf or on-line waiting for a reader.
I like hearing the response both during and after a show. I like knowing that something I wrote touched someone, made them feel less alone.
And yet...
This shit is terrifying!
What helped me first poke my head out from underneath the sheets and then get back on my feet was encouraging feedback from Gillian (thanks, Gillie!) and the fact that I'm doing this whether I feel ready or not. And I'd rather feel ready. 

I accidentally stumbled upon a really good trick for getting unstuck.

I promised myself (and my dogs) to go on a long walk. I had planned to record my script and transfer it to an i-pod (to memorize while I walked) but both of my i-pods had issues. I grabbed my script, a pen, and the dogs and walked anyway.
I read the script aloud as I walked, memorizing a paragraph at a time, tweaking a bit here and there, adding some, cutting some, laughing aloud over changes that made the script funnier, reading in character on the spot. The dogs weren't thrilled with all of my stops, my neighbors undoubtedly think I'm a nutcase, but it was invigorating and liberating and I arrived home confident in the work, ready to rewrite and work some more.
I also sat down today and, from memory, wrote the script word-for-word only getting hung up on one phrase. I'm talking about six pages. I usually spend hours listening to my own voice over my ipod until I can't stand the sound of myself. I still have to get to the point where I can do speed-throughs, but this worked amazingly well.

Worked with MarNae, our director today. She worked her magic and added a ton of dimension to the piece.

My ongoing challenge, especially as the day draws near is to keep my anxiety from blocking my creativity.