Home after your second day of performing.
Performance Day One
Up at 6:00 with plans to rehearse until 12:00
Freak out every fifteen minutes.
Think about the people who are coming to the show and freak out some more
Regret that you wrote two new pieces instead of perfecting something you'd already done
Think "Nerves of Steel" as you push awareness of the clock ticking out of your mind
Run through the challenging parts in each piece
Realize that there are an overwhelming number of challenging parts
Sink to your knees in front of a chair which has assumed the role of one of your characters, bury your head in his lap and moan "I can't do this!"
Repeat four times throughout rehearsal
Think "Nerves of Steel" and work the most troublesome parts of your pieces
Make a bit of progress on rummaging through an imaginary purse which is ten times harder than it looks
Make a bit of progress on putting on imaginary make-up while having a conversation with an imaginary Chinese woman which is about fifty times harder than it looks
Ask yourself why you haven't stuck with yoga long enough to learn relaxation tips for times like this
Ask yourself why you haven't stuck with self-affirmations long enough to learn relaxation tips for times like this
Run out of the house and disappoint your dogs by circling the driveway, on foot, at top speed about ten times
Feel slightly better
Resolve to run through each piece without stopping no matter what
Stop repeatedly
Collapse into chair
Think "I have to get a grip."
Go to your computer and Google "Positive affirmations for performers"
Repeat "I have a natural stage presence"
Repeat "I always remain calm in front of an audience"
Repeat "My stage fright is gone"
Feel slightly better.
Find the affirmations you found several months ago produced and recorded by a couple with an Minnesotan accent
Play then while you're in the shower
Play them while your putting on real make-up
Breathe
Hear the woman say "Remember, listening to these affirmations every day for a week will transform your life
Think "I need them transform my life right now"
Feel much better by the time you walk out of your house
Wonder when the anxiety will return
Be amazed that it doesn't
Until it does
Text you friend to remind you of why you do this
Smile and feel better when he does
Call your sister to remind you why you do this
Laugh when she tells you she hasn't a clue
And then remind yourself that you have a natural stage presence
Perform the first piece
Survive
Perform the second piece
Survive
Greet your audience
Feel the love
Enjoy the look of disbelief on a woman's face when you say "three years" in answer to her question about how long you've been performing
Thank her profusely for the look
Have a drink
Have another
Go to a hat party full of members of your theater tribe
Go to a late showing of Dominatrix for Dummies
Get spanked by the actress in front of an entire audience
Think "Now that's more like it"
Performance Day Two:
Get up at 9:00
Smile
Choreograph stage movements like a dance "Open purse, look at man, become man, reach for carry-on, become woman, leave man, become man, call her back.." One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three
Stay calm
Speed though scripts until you don't stumble over lines
Visualize transitions
Listen to positive affirmations
Work a clumsy section out in your car on the way to the theater
Perform
Survive
Perform
Survive
Watch an actor-friend's jaw drop when you tell her you just got off-book last week
Thank her profusely for the look
Feel ten times better about today's show than yesterday's
See a show you think is beautiful but suspect you're not enough of an intellectual to grasp the meaning
Go home
Eat spoonfuls of peanut butter with homemade raspberry jam because you haven't had time to shop for groceries
Catch up on Word With Friends
Catch up on your blog
Rest
Performance Day One
Up at 6:00 with plans to rehearse until 12:00
Freak out every fifteen minutes.
Think about the people who are coming to the show and freak out some more
Regret that you wrote two new pieces instead of perfecting something you'd already done
Think "Nerves of Steel" as you push awareness of the clock ticking out of your mind
Run through the challenging parts in each piece
Realize that there are an overwhelming number of challenging parts
Sink to your knees in front of a chair which has assumed the role of one of your characters, bury your head in his lap and moan "I can't do this!"
Repeat four times throughout rehearsal
Think "Nerves of Steel" and work the most troublesome parts of your pieces
Make a bit of progress on rummaging through an imaginary purse which is ten times harder than it looks
Make a bit of progress on putting on imaginary make-up while having a conversation with an imaginary Chinese woman which is about fifty times harder than it looks
Ask yourself why you haven't stuck with yoga long enough to learn relaxation tips for times like this
Ask yourself why you haven't stuck with self-affirmations long enough to learn relaxation tips for times like this
Run out of the house and disappoint your dogs by circling the driveway, on foot, at top speed about ten times
Feel slightly better
Resolve to run through each piece without stopping no matter what
Stop repeatedly
Collapse into chair
Think "I have to get a grip."
Go to your computer and Google "Positive affirmations for performers"
Repeat "I have a natural stage presence"
Repeat "I always remain calm in front of an audience"
Repeat "My stage fright is gone"
Feel slightly better.
Find the affirmations you found several months ago produced and recorded by a couple with an Minnesotan accent
Play then while you're in the shower
Play them while your putting on real make-up
Breathe
Hear the woman say "Remember, listening to these affirmations every day for a week will transform your life
Think "I need them transform my life right now"
Feel much better by the time you walk out of your house
Wonder when the anxiety will return
Be amazed that it doesn't
Until it does
Text you friend to remind you of why you do this
Smile and feel better when he does
Call your sister to remind you why you do this
Laugh when she tells you she hasn't a clue
And then remind yourself that you have a natural stage presence
Perform the first piece
Survive
Perform the second piece
Survive
Greet your audience
Feel the love
Enjoy the look of disbelief on a woman's face when you say "three years" in answer to her question about how long you've been performing
Thank her profusely for the look
Have a drink
Have another
Go to a hat party full of members of your theater tribe
Go to a late showing of Dominatrix for Dummies
Get spanked by the actress in front of an entire audience
Think "Now that's more like it"
Performance Day Two:
Get up at 9:00
Smile
Choreograph stage movements like a dance "Open purse, look at man, become man, reach for carry-on, become woman, leave man, become man, call her back.." One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three
Stay calm
Speed though scripts until you don't stumble over lines
Visualize transitions
Listen to positive affirmations
Work a clumsy section out in your car on the way to the theater
Perform
Survive
Perform
Survive
Watch an actor-friend's jaw drop when you tell her you just got off-book last week
Thank her profusely for the look
Feel ten times better about today's show than yesterday's
See a show you think is beautiful but suspect you're not enough of an intellectual to grasp the meaning
Go home
Eat spoonfuls of peanut butter with homemade raspberry jam because you haven't had time to shop for groceries
Catch up on Word With Friends
Catch up on your blog
Rest
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